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June 21st, 2007


09:14 am - My life flashed before my eyes this morning.
I was at the stop light by my house this morning with my hand in my lap.  I just so happened to look down and there was a huge brown spider crawling up my leg.  It was like the size of a quarter...which is big enough.  I started freaking out and brushed it off and try to stomp on it.  I looked up and saw that the car was moving cuz I had took my foot off the break trying to stomp on the spider.  I had to slam on the break so I wouldn't run into traffic.  I was only in the middle of the crosswalk by the time I had stopped, which really isn't all that bad.  I passed the light and pulled into the Petsmart parking lot.  I looked all over and couldn't find.  I finally found it just chillin on my door.  I tried to kill, but that mother fucker was fast.  We had a freakin rat race all over my car before I finally found it and killed it.  I realized it was a brown recluse.  It looked exactly like the one we had caught a little while back in the bathroom, just bigger.  I was sooo sooo sooooooooo scared.  I thought it was going to bite me.  I noticed when I first got into my car that there was some webbing on my leg.  I didn't think anything of it cuz I figured it was just the silk worm threading or something.  They tend to thread right in front of my apartment.  I walk through them every day.  I can't believe it though.  Of all things...a freakin spider.  Ugh.  Now it feels like I have spiders crawling all over me.  My hair is in a pony tail, and when it's in a pony tail, my hair tend to break.  I was re-doing my pony tail this morning after I had gotten to work, and some hair fell out.  I felt it on my arms.  I freaked out...of course...thinking that there was another spider crawling on me.  It's going to feel like that all day now.  I keep thinking something is crawling on me.  I want to go home and take a shower.  I have successfully spooked my self for the day.
Current Mood: scaredscared

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December 1st, 2006


12:53 pm - I have a pounding head

So, it turns out things did go according to plan.  My dad picked me up from work and said he'd make a deal with me.  He said that if I were to clean out the fireplace then he would go and buy some firewood.  So I did.  We had a fire going all night long.  I still got to make hot chocolate and eat my pie too.  Right before he went to bed he put a huge log on the fire place.  It was awesome cuz I sleep in the living room.  The fire burned until like 4 in the morning.  I was warm and toasty all night long.  
I got to see Mi Mi and Doo Doo.  I gave them pie too.  I like that pie.  Except I think when I ate it, it was still too cold.  I should have let it set out longer.  It hurted my teethies.  I think next time I get a pie like I'll put it in the refigerator rather than my freezer.
My head hurts.  I've had a headache all freakin day long.  At first I thought that maybe it was cuz I was hungry and that my blood sugars were low.  It still hurt after I ate so I finally took some aleve.  I think it's already working too.  
I'm so glad it's friday...as always.  I've had an exhausting week...as always.  I spent all my money on bills, and now I'm broke...as always.  All I want to do is go home and sleep, but I can't.  I'm constantly on the move.  It seems like I never have time for myself any more.  I'm too busy worrying about other people and making sure that everything is copersetic, that I forget about myself.  I get myself all worked up and stressed out, and then I pay for it later.  Which is probably why I have a super headache.  I dunno.  I probably just need some rest. 
Well, I'm off on Monday! Woo.  Well, not really.  It's only cuz of a doctor's appointment, which I'm not looking to forward to.  Oh well, I'll get over it.


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November 9th, 2006


01:19 pm - Chili Cheese Fritos
I should really quit throwing my food away and quit getting all these fritos all the time.  But they're so good! Any my lunch was totally not satisfying.  I had a veggie burger today for the first time in my life.  I wasn't to impressed.  It wasn't all that great.  But then again I should probably get it from somewhere else other than a hospital where they don't use frozen patties. I couldn't eat it all.  It just didn't take to my liking so much.  
I can't wait til I get to go home today.  I don't know why.  Probably cuz tomorrow is Friday, and at midnigh tonight I get paid! Woo!
We all watched Grandma's Boy yesterday...again...It's still funny as ever. 
He might come and pick me up today after work.  He has to baby sit tonight so I need some things from his apartment that he has to bring me.  So hopefully he'll pick me up from work too.
I just got extremely tired all of the sudden...
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative

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January 30th, 2005


01:30 pm - i want to run away...and never look back... never come back...
I loved you
You were all that I wanted
Then, I watched you
Turn into someone else

Well I'm sick of the fighting
I'm sick of just blaming myself

Well I'm sick of escaping
I'm sick of erasing

Your face and the places
That give me a trace to you

But I will never find you

I can't hold on
I'm feeling numb
From everything you do
And put me through
When I was part of you

I'm feeling numb
From holding on
To everything that you
Had put me through
When I was part of you

Well if I can deceive you
Then why can't I leave you alone

Well if everything's painful
Then why do I wait for

Your face or the place
That will give me a trace to you

But I will never find you

I can't hold on
I'm feeling numb
From everything you do
And put me through
When I was part of you

I'm feeling numb
From holding on
To everything that you
Had put me through
When I was part of you

Siento el amor
Siento el dolor
Siento el amor
Siento el calor
Siento el amor
Siento el dolor

But I will never find you

I can't hold on
I'm feeling numb
From everything you do
And put me through
When I was part of you

I'm feeling numb
From holding on
To everything that you
Had put me through
When I was part of you
Current Mood: gloomygloomy
Current Music: Ill Nino - Numb

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January 28th, 2005


01:29 pm
I remember when I was told of story of crushed velvet,
candle wax, and dried up flowers
The figure on the bed all dressed up in roses, calling
Beckoning to sleep,
Offering a dream

words were as mystical as purring animals
The circle of rage
The ghosts on the stage appeared
The time was so tangible, I'll never let it go
Ghost stories handed down, reached secret tunnels below
No one could see me

I fell into yesterday
Our dreams seemed not far away
I want to, I want to, I want to stay
I fell into fantasy

The words were as mystical as purring animals
The circle of rage
The ghosts on the stage appeared
The time was so tangible, I'll never let it go
Ghost stories handed down, reached secret tunnels below
No one could see me

I fell into yesterday.
Our dreams seemed not far away
I want to, I want to, I want to stay.
I fell into fantasy

The girl on the wall always waited for me,
And she was always smiling
The teenage death boys
The teenage death girls
And everyone was dancing
Nothing could touch us then
No one could change us then
Everyone was dancing
Nothing could hurt us then
No one could see us then
Everyone was dancing
Everyone was dancing

No one could see me

I fell into yesterday
Our dreams seemed not far away
I want to, I want to, I want to stay
I fell into fantasy

Our dreams seemed not far away
Our dreams seemed not far away
Our dreams seemed not far away

I fell into fantasy
Current Mood: amusedamused
Current Music: A.F.I - Days of the Phoenix

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01:13 pm - so fresh and so clean clean
ahh! i just got threw taking a bath. how refreshing. i havent taken one of those in so freakin long. i have a whole lot of these bath oil thingy ma bobbers and i decided to use some.

yeah so oni freakin text me and was like come up here at one so i was like i guess so. so after i got threw taking a bath i get all ready and im fixin to head up there and i thought ya know i really dont want to go up there so i called him and was like why do you want me up there anyway. he was like i dunno i thought itd be nice to see you. and then he was like but im really busy so dont even bother coming up here. so i was just like yeah ok whatever. so i didnt go up there. yeah me. i wouldnt have done anything up there anyway. so its all good.

now im just sittin in my room once again bored. i should be cleaning but i really dont want to. urg. i guess ill go that now till i have something to do.
Current Mood: annoyedannoyed
Current Music: Eminem - Mockingbird

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08:53 am - im playing hookie! whoopie!
last night i was like i dont feel like going to school tomorrow. and i woke up this morning got dressed and ready and all that nonsense. me and melissa get out to the bus stop and i was like lets skip school. and she was going to with me but then she remembered something about her dad and the couselors and all that mess. so she was no and yeah. so i called my dad and told him that my eye hurt and that it still burned and itched and watering like crazy...to which it really is. i wanna gouge it out right about now its buggin me so freaking bad. so he said i didnt have to go school. i was like yippie!

so here i am tring to figure out what the hell i can do to my eye so itll stop hurting. ive already taken ou tmy contact and all that and cleaned it out and all that and it still hurts. its driving me crazy like woah!

hmm maybe oni will get lucky and get a break or get off early or something like that and maybe hell come visit me. ahh i hope so. i didnt get to see him yesterday. oh well i ll live.

today is louies birthday. hes gonna have the whole bbq thing like he does every year. and were all invited and all that yah know. and i wanna go but then again i dont cuz theres gonna be alot of people there that i dont know. and i know louie gonna be like i want you meet them and talk ya know and get to know them and all that. but i already know that were all gonna form out own little cliques cuz thats what happens. and john might be there and i dont know whats up with me and him and its really bugging me. i really want to talk to him but i doubt he wants to talk to me. i really wanna know why hes acting all wierd around me. ugh! im so sad.l but yeah anways if i do end up going its gonna feel extremely awkward with me and john and even louie too cuz even we hardly talk anymore. ill feel really bad too. cuz its his birthday. and also he wants to go to a show tonight and i seriously have no money! which really pisses me the fuck off. i dont even know melissas gonna go. much less sofia.

yeah...so im just kinda sitting here trying to figure out what the hell to do all day. i guess i could download songs and shit and maybe if i come around to it ill even clean my and wash tobie!
Current Mood: draineddrained
Current Music: The Llama Song

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January 27th, 2005


07:52 pm - my eye hurts
It's hard to believe
You could be such a disease
I can no longer separate what is real
Hope that fate will find me safe

All my reflections laugh at me
You made me hide my name
It just feels bad to say,
That there'll be another day

What you wanted was impossible to define
The words I hear are of scrambled letters
Guess it's been there for years
Never let me know, I was alright

What you wanted is a mystery to me
The words I hear are of scrambled letters
Guess it's been there for years
Never let me know, I was alright

Building a room with no doors
Is this the last of me?
Wring the rag for the last few drops
Falling into infinity
Current Mood: bitchybitchy
Current Music: In Flames - Drifter

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04:41 pm - rain...ugh!
yeah so me and melissa ended up going to onis once again last night. woo hoo. it was kinda like an outta the blue type thing. his freind ben left. and he got lonely and then i got lonely. and we really wanted to see each other. so we pretty much just gave in and yeah. we pretty much see each other every day. oni had to be at work at 630 in the morning and we didnt even get there till like 11 or so. so we didnt spend so much time together. pretty much the first thing we did when i got there was wrestle...once again. lol. its so much fun. he always pinches the fuck outta my stomach though. he did that last night so i bit the shit outta his arm. thats what he gets. stupid punk!!! but yeah pretty much after that he passed out. yeah we woke up and 530 so he could get ready. but that was too early so i went back to sleep...yeah...grr...pretty much.

so me and melissa woke up this morning and it was raining. i got soaked. i was so mad. and then when we got to school i got even more wet. my pants were wet all day.

now im home. bored as fuck. cory wanted me to go shopping but i cant go at the moment cuz well yeah. im cant go anywhere until i clean my room. pfft. suckage. onis going the target with richie and thats where ive been freakin wanting to go for like a while now and i have no way of getting up there and yeah suckage. grr to him. i hate oni. pleh to him.

i have a cut on my arm. and now its bleeding. oh joy just what i need another wound. i just banged the shit outta my knee on my desk like a few minutes ago and there already a bruise on it. poor me. and on top of that i feel like im gonna freakin puke and my ribs hurt like fuck for some reason.
Current Mood: gloomygloomy
Current Music: Robert Miles - Children

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January 26th, 2005


09:37 pm - i have blue toe nails!
yeah so today sucked...school wise anyways. it was boring as always. i dint get to see today...how sad. he wanted me to go over there but he has to be at work at 630 in the mornng and i dont want to wake up that early and if i werent to stay the night i would have no way home so im like uhh noo sorry not tonight maybe tomorrow. his friend ben is over there and he wants me to meet him cuz he hardly ever gets to see him any more so yeah he wanted me to go over there to meet him too.

after school me and miki went and ate fresh choice once again. how yummy. then we went to the sprint store. then to marble slab creamery. then to party city to go see melissa. then we went to victorias secret...gosh theres so much stuff from there that i want. then we went to old navy. i bought two shirts and some sandalias. yup yup. then i came home. and yeah now here i am. i just got thew painting my toe nails blue. there blur and sparkly and yeah!

uhh...my head itches.
Current Mood: calmcalm
Current Music: A.F.I. - God Called In Sick Today

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